WhaHappen?

Why should kids have all the fun? It’s time you quit acting your age and start goofing off just for the simple pleasure of it. See the world through the uninhibited playfulness of a kid and be game for anything.

What for, you ask? Shouldn’t we be buckling down, discussing the economic fallout, getting dental check-ups, and drafting our wills? ZZzzzz… I’m sorry, what were you saying? (You just activated my Nap-o-meter to “high.”)

I’m just saying that these tough times are all the more reasons to disengage from the harsh reality and sneak in a few moments of fun, for the low cost of “fear of looking silly.” C’mon, get over your self-consciousness and live a little. I’m throwin’ down 5 double-dog dares. Are you up for the challenge?

1. Learn to moonwalk and break out into it often. It’s an amusing exit strategy. Who can resist laughing when you moonwalk away and abruptly turn around to leave? In fact, I think our troops should employ this distracting maneuver when we finally leave Iraq.
2. Hop across a hopscotch layout when you see one, whether it’s at your kid’s school or drawn on the sidewalk. Or if you have a jump rope, use it while singing out some jump rope songs. If you don’t remember any, you can always do the Freddy Kruger one: “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door…”
3. Draw mustaches on people in the magazines at the dentist office, blacken their teeth, and scribble an eye-patch on all the babies. Draw braces on any animal image.
   If you feel uncomfortable defacing someone else’s copy of Fish and Stream, check the publication date. It probably goes back to 1997 anyway.
4. When you order food at a drive-through, speak with a really exaggerated accent. Then when you get to the window, speak normally and engage the cashier in small talk. (It might cause them to wonder in confusion if they’re giving you the correct food order.)
5. Work the phrase “I pity the fool…” into your next business meeting. Or either of the following:
   “Missed it by that much.” (Maxwell Smart). You might even bring up the need for the cone of silence.
   “I picked the wrong day to quit doing heroin.” (Airplane)

Okay, here’s the Bonus Round. It’s actually a Triple-Dog Dare and it’s possible that it’ll cost you a little bit of money, by which I mean $1000 according to the 2009 California Bail Schedule for Penal Code 314, Indecent Exposure.

Yep – STREAKING. Done right and you’ll provide a memorable, entertaining moment for the viewing public.

And now, here’s a little inspiration from the heyday of streaking:

(Enjoy Ray Stevens “The Streak”)

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