Yesterday everyone met my deceptively-sweet-but-ass-kickin’ cat Trixie. If Trixie were human, she’d be Agent Sydney Bristow from the TV show Alias. If she were a man, she’d be Chuck Norris for sure.
And then there’s Trixie’s step-brother, Bengal, who she never knew because he left home before we adopted her. Bengal was the typical goofy sibling that Trixie would’ve had to protect in a cat fight. (This is a bad picture of Bengal. He wasn’t really this dorky.)
But one thing that all my animals have in common is that, I swear, they talk to me. Not with real words, of course. (That would be silly – and Children’s Protective Services would take my kids away if I ever admitted it.) I mean, in their eyes and demeanor, I know exactly what they’re saying and thinking.
For example, the other day, there was a Mothra-size moth hovering in the family room. Trixie loves to hunt anything and flying insects turn her into Rambo-Cat. So I called out to her, “Trixieee, come get it! Hurry Trix, get it!” She came bolting downstairs, slid on the hardwood floor, and did that car drift thing because she was running so fast. She looked around and then she looked at me with an urgent expression that specifically said “Where is it? Quick – which way did it go, Woman!”
I sat there giggling at her hyper-alertness. Again, she turned to me with a demanding look: “Damn it, answer me!” By then, the moth was gone. Probably hiding in a closet, scared and sucking its thumb. (Actually, that’s what I did later when I awoke to Helicopter Moth fluttering around in my dark bedroom.)
They say that our animals can think and act independently, apart from mere instinct. If only they could actually speak. But for sure, they’re conniving enough to play mind games, as The Stabbing Pen hilariously posted today.
Are there ever times when you swear your pet is desperately trying to tell you something important – or even smirking and talkin’ trash about you and your friends behind your back?
I’m posting this YouTube video of a Lawrence Welk show with The Lennon Sisters singing “Talk To The Animals.” Watch the Lion, he’s so out of sync with the Gorilla and the Bear. I’m pretty sure he must’ve been a last minute replacement for the real dancer. Hysterical.
11 kids playing along so far ↓
1 Chris
// Apr 9, 2009 at 6:18 am
Oh no. You’ve cried ‘wolf’ to a cat … next time there’s a moth Trixie will either a) ignore you or b) slowly make her way back down the stairs and come in and bite your ankles.
Chris’s last blog post..Thumbtack Thursday is in the toilet
2 Shawn
// Apr 9, 2009 at 7:22 am
Well cats are naturally devious, so I’m sure you’re not incorrect when you assume its talking crap about you behind your back.
Unrelated: I totally had that Sniglets book when I was a kid.
Shawn’s last blog post..5 Entrecard Ads I Had To Reject
3 Miranda
// Apr 9, 2009 at 5:24 pm
If my dog could talk…he’d have on of those passive personalities. You know, that guy who is never assertive enough probably because he’s afraid of being rejected. The one who stands half-way behind your cubicle fake coughing or shuffling papers to get your attention. Yea. Every morning my dog Monster hops off the bed and shakes vigorously so that his chain jingles like Christmas bells- as if him walking all over me doesn’t wake me up (he’s 160 lbs.). If he doesn’t get my attention the first time, he shakes one more time while staring at me. If access to the backyard is still not acheived, he yawns this high pitched screech and continues to stare. Then, and only then will he let out a wimpy sigh and show that he just can’t hold it anymore by dancing around in circles. I think it may have been the time I screamed at him go back to bed when he had to poop that made him like that. They need to come up with doggy sign language.
4 marissa
// Apr 9, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Chris: Trixie already bites my ankles if I happen to move my feet under the bedsheets. She’s always in hunting mode.
Shawn: I wonder if Trixie will write a tell-all book someday. Could be worth alot of canned tuna.
Miranda (my eldest daughter): Animals using sign language would be bad. They’re already talking smack about us; they’re going to know how to flip us off too?
You forgot to mention that Monster is Great Dane/Mastiff!
5 Jim @ CoolStuffForDads.com
// Apr 9, 2009 at 11:59 pm
I think our dog has a lot to say, I am not sure how much is important, stuff like can I come in now, I need a drink of water, etc. The video was great, that lion is so off step it’s almost like it was on purpose.
Jim @ CoolStuffForDads.com’s last blog post..Vintage 70s Miller Beer T-Shirt
6 grannyann
// Apr 10, 2009 at 10:43 am
One (of 2) of my cats will play fetch just like a dog. He likes those cloth type pony tail holders and when I throw it he goes after it, gets it and brings it back. He plays hide and seek also behind the shower curtain when I am in the bathroom. He is the cat with personality and my other cat is a little boring. I adopted both of them but I think someone was mean to my boring cat and that is why he is not too outgoing.
grannyann’s last blog post..The Legend of the Sand Dollar
7 marissa
// Apr 10, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Jim: That’s funny that your dog says the same things as Husband Jace. I, too, don’t know if it’s all that important.
Grannyann: I don’t know what it is about cats that have to be in the bathroom when we’re in there. If I close my bathroom door, Trixie will stick her paw under it and wave it around for me. If the door isn’t quite closed all the way, she’ll help herself in and visit while I’m trying to do my business!
8 Carpe Diem
// Apr 10, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Marissa,
The video was hilarious…was there a subliminal message meant for us? As I was watching the video, the word “GERITOL” was prominently displayed in the background and I laughed even harder…that is a true classic…thanks for the comic relief. : )
CD
9 marissa
// Apr 10, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Hi CD! Thanks for coming by! Geritol (lol). As kids we’d always make fun of Geritol. It seemed like the commercial was always on. Yeah, look who’s laughing now…
10 Betty
// Apr 12, 2009 at 1:25 pm
My kids believe that our dogs talk to me. I usually only use it when I tell them that Jasper the husky lab has been complaining about their treatment of him. He hates the hair cuts they give him. I do too. Can’t take him out for a walk with all the hair on his tail cut off… Makes his butt look fatter.
Betty’s last blog post..Bird poop can make you gag and maybe end your life
11 marissa
// Apr 12, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Betty: Heheheh. Does Jasper ask you if his butt looks fat? I hope you tell him, “Oh of course not. You look great in anything.”
Come out and play - Leave A Comment